Interview me/pick me out of a line-up

I got tagged by Serendipity some time ago and promptly forgot all about it, so I thought I would quickly catch up with it now. If you want to take part, the rules are in a comment below.

Interview me

1. Have you ever been in a bar fight? What happened?

No. I have been in a bar bitch-fight though; I got a drink thrown over me. You can read all about it here, but in a nutshell, it was me vs. the gay girlfriend from hell. I had the moral victory.    

2. Do you have any OCD tendencies? What are they?

I collect tupperware and other food storage equipment. I don’t know why.    

3. What sport best suits your personality: Windsurfing, snooker, football, rugby or formula 1?

Good one. Rugby. I’m all about letting it all go on the pitch and then going home in feeling like you actually got something done. Football is too passive aggressive for me: everyone fights afterward. I don’t get it: if they threw a few more punches on the pitch, the hooligans would have nothing to do.    

4. What side of the bed do you sleep on and why?

I sleep on the left. It’s nearer the door, away from the window, and there’s nothing between me and the television so when we watch something in bed I won;t get disturbed by James turning over or flapping the duvet around. He thinks he chose his side, but only because I let him.    

5. In your humble opinion, is Sky TV worth the money?

I suppose it depends on your situation. We wouldn’t have any tv at all if we didn;t have Sky, so it’s definitely worth it. I’d switch to Virgin Media in a heartbeat if we could get it though. I hate Rupert Murdoch.    

Remember back in the old days when everyone tried to identify which Friends character they were? (I always wanted to be Chandler, but everyone always told me I was Ross. Boo!) Craig at Puntabulous has picked himself out of a line-up (twice), so here are my favourite tv shows, who I want to be and who I actually am. Invariably, it’s a disappointment.

Dysfunctional household: Fisher & Sons funeral home.

I think I am: Claire. Oh life is so cruel but I am so talented and if I just work at it my unusual upbringing will actually become an artistic movement and help make me successful.

but I actually am: Nate. Oh life is so cruel and if I run away from it, join a commune and try to live an alternative lifestyle I will actually end up back where I started in a job I never wanted living a life I always abhorred.

Dysfunctional household: The Parochial House, Craggy Island.

I think I am: Father Ted. Clearly I am the one who is in control and held back by all you nuts. Sadly I’m not an embezzler, but money really does only rest in my account.

but I am actually: Father Jack. I don’t get out of bed for breakfast, I don’t get off the sofa for dinner, and Jim keeps me supplied with drink before being told to feck off. Also, I never shave in the week and have trouble passing a bar.

Dysfunctional household: The Wilkerson family home.

I think I am: Dewey. Whatever I do, nothing seems to go wrong and everything works out in the end. I am the ultimate coaster.

but I am actually: Hal. No use to man nor beast until you need something completely out of the ordinary and then I’m the one with the chicken costume and all the dance moves to Whigfield’s “Saturday Night”.

Dysfunctional households: Various addresses on Wisteria Lane

I think I am: Bree Van De Kamp. Cool and collected at all times, with charm and manners to boot. She’s fabulous.

but I actually am: Susan Meyer. I’m manipulative in a folksy way and I only really scrub up when there’s a reason to do it. If you need a someone to do something mind-blowingly idiotic to engineer a romantic situation, give me a shout.

Dysfunctional household: Torchwood offices, Cardiff

I think I am: Ianto Jones. Bi-sexual world class administrator and softie at heart (“I don’t care if she is half cyberman – she’s my girlfriend!”).

but I actually am: Captain Jack Harkness. Bi-sexual Time Agent from the 51st century. All round good egg most of the time, but hard-hearted and unrepentant with it. Even my mother thinks so, and James laughs about my “sympathy bypass”. It’s probably not a good thing, but this one’s not a disappointment. Jack rules!